The Integrated Family
by Teri Spray
We want our family to be together, and well-adjusted. How can we do that?
Most of the following list is from the book, Reaching the Heart of Your Teen written by the authors of the popular seminar series, Growing Kids God's Way, Gary and Marie Ezzo. The book is intended to encourage parents who feel as though their teen child is slipping away from them, but it includes some excellent advice for any family to be more integrated and healthy.
1. Become encouragers to one another as much as possible at all times. The families we have met who seem the happiest always have an encouraging word for one another, no matter how discouraging circumstances may appear.
2. Become a student of your children. This is probably the most important skill for a home educating parent to develop. It is crucial for you as a parent to understand your child. Watch carefully how they respond to foods, medications and sleep schedules.
3. Always try to guard you tongue and tone. No matter how frustrated you become some days, try to keep a civil sound in your voice. This is especially important for mothers. Our voices set the tone for the household.
4. Share at least one meal together as a family each day. As home schoolers we can at least share lunch together with our children, but it means so much more if you can have a breakfast or dinner together as a family. If Dad must work late or you have events to attend, go out together at a restaurant or pack a picnic!
5. Read after dinner. If you cannot have after-dinner time together, schedule a reading time at another time each day. This can be 30 minutes of quiet reading and 30 minutes of read-aloud time. Together you will travel around the world with missionaries and on adventures with famous figures from history and characters of great literature. (See the back of your training manual for a great books list to choose from.)
6. Allow your children to help to plan a family night. Family night is reserved just for you: no friends, no phones, no pagers, just family. Break out the board games, go play miniature golf or go bowling. (Try to avoid videos, computer games and movie theaters because they cut down on communication.)
7. Take regular walks together. Walking can be a good workout for the soul as well as the body. You will be able to open up more after a mile of pacing together.
8. Live your Christianity. Kevin Swanson of Christian Home Educators of Colorado explained how he began to pray openly in front of his son during times of confusion and crisis. Now he takes his son with him wherever he goes to provide a real-life example of a Christian life.
9. Apply instant forgiveness. Keep the little things little. Chances are you will remember the anger of the battle long after you remember what caused it. Go to one another as quickly as possible to right any wrong and reconcile your differences.
10. Involve yourself in each other's lives. Gravity, selfishness and sin pull our families apart each day; it takes effort to draw yourselves together and do things as a team.