Best Books -Especially for Dads
Mike Spray

Wild at Heart
Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul
by John Eldredge

I’ve just finished reading this book and have to admit that Mr. Eldredge touched my heart, soul, and spirit more than once. That’s “scary stuff” to most of us men. When someone can speak from his experiences and those of other men he’s known, and then jump right inside of us, it can be terrifying and encouraging all at the same time. We don’t necessarily want other people to really, truly know us - because that knowledge consistently and inevitably creates vulnerability.

Because I can’t say it better, and believe what’s written on the dust jacket, I’m going to quote verbatim:

John Eldredge believes what really is in the heart of men has been badly missed. “When all is said and done, I think most men believe God put them on the earth to be a good boy,” writes Eldredge in Wild at Heart. “The problem with men, we are told, is that they don’t know how to keep their promises, be spiritual leaders, talk to their wives, or raise their children. But if they will try really hard, they can reach the lofty summit of becoming. . . a nice guy. That’s what we hold up as models of Christian maturity: Really Nice Guys.”

Now in all your boyhood dreams growing up, did you ever dream of becoming a nice guy? Ladies, was the Prince of your dreams dashing. . . or merely nice? Eldredge believes that this dedication to niceness is the reason there are so many tired and lonely women, so many fatherless children, and so few men around. He writes, “We’ve taken away the dreams of a man’s heart and told him to play the man. As C.S. Lewis said, ‘We castrate the gelding and bid him be fruitful.’”

Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. That is how he bears the image of God; that is what God made him to be.
At our men’s retreat a couple of weeks ago, our speaker mentioned these three things, “a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” I have to tell you, this teaser was the thing that hooked me. But this isn’t a “feel good” book - in fact, too often for me it gently exposed old, unhealed wounds that I thought had been taken care of decades ago. For example, the title of Chapter 3 is “The Question That Haunts Every Man”. I’ll give you a peek at the end of the chapter, where Eldredge writes, “Even if he can’t put it into words, every man is haunted by the question, ‘Am I really a man? Have I got what it takes. . . when it counts?’” The answer will be unique to every individual, but at some level, each of us men knows that in some way, the answer is “no.” The good news Eldredge shares is that God, our True Father, wants to work in and through us. Once we have His image of us super-imposed over our earthly reflection, and learned His name for each of us, the answer becomes a resounding “YES!”. Is it worth it? Again, for me, the answer is also yes, even though I’ve just begun the journey.

Eldredge doesn’t condemn, but he does challenge. Guys, it will take a little bit of courage to start this book - and real guts to finish it! Ladies, you may find new understanding for your husbands, but you’ll need some courage, too, to help them over the rough spots and through the changes that will bless you and your whole family, especially your sons (who are “men in the making”). You’ll be sweetly surprised to learn a few things about yourselves, too.

One final quote to tease you - from the introduction to a book written by Gil Bailie quoted in chapter 11.

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”